hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
