it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
