He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
