i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
