she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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