Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(928): View more from Arizona

I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.

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(916): View more from California

the gays at disneyland are vicious

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(719): View more from Colorado

I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.

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(847): View more from Illinois

it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

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(770): View more from Georgia

A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.

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(989): View more from Michigan

Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....

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(910): View more from North Carolina

3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.

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