My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
