11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
