gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize