dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
