And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
