Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
