It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
