Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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