Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
