I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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