I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
