im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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