I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
