dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
