my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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