when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
