in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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