is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
