Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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