I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
