i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
