at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
