He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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