so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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