I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
