is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
