Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
