the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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