I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize