I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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