So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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