I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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