Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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