Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
