My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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