dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize