I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize