just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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