This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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