Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
