you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
