That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
