you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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