Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
