this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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