i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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