I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
