I'm drive I can fine osifer
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
