D3 body, D1 cock
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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