Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
